9w5d "All by Myself"

So my appointment on Tuesday went really well. I was nervous because of all my soreness, but the nurses attribute that to growing pains. I expect I'll be having a lot more of that. The bloodwork looked really good - well good enough to stop the progesterone yesterday. So I am holding this pregnancy all by myself! So far I think it is still going well. I still have nausea and soreness. We have been waiting for this for awhile. The ultrasound was by far the best one so far. The are growing and are on schedule. (I don't know how, I feel like I haven't eaten anything). They are about an inch long from crown to rump! My babies last week looked like gummy bears. This week I could clearly see arms and legs and they were moving all over! Baby A was waving at me...while Baby B was just banging his head around. It was so fun to see them kicking and squirming around. I can't feel it yet. I wish M could have seen them. The pictures I brought home don't do them justice. He is going to be able to come to our big ultrasound in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm excited for him to finally see our kiddies.

I'm really glad to be off all the hormones. I'm not too worried about the transition off the stimulants - maybe I should be? But so far, I'm feeling the same. M is more nervous I think. He is always the more cautious with optimism. But I think that if on Tuesday I still have good hormone levels he will be more relaxed about them sticking around. This has been his milestone. He didn't want to share it with people at work, aka his boss, until I'm on my own and stable. So I think maybe in the next couple of weeks we will start thinking about telling people.

We are going to have to start telling people soon because my mom and I just scheduled my baby shower! Weird!! It will be super early by normal standards. I know most people don't have showers before like the 28th week. Mine is scheduled for 17 1/2 weeks. I feel a little silly having it so early. In fact we were all hesitant. But here is why. #1 The shower is in Utah. I live in Texas. #2 OB doesn't want me flying later on in my pregnancy due to the extra passengers (after 32 weeks). #3 Neither does my OB want me flying between 20 and 32 weeks if there is ANY problem. #4 That isn't predictable and my mom would rather have me come early than not at all. #5 All my family is going to be in town that weekend (like huge extended and immediate family). So that is what we have planned. I'll just have whatever showers in Texas way late to average out :)

Anyway, Nap time. :)

9w2d "The Grand Return"

Well, maybe not so grand. I realize I have been a really crappy blogger lately. I've disappeared practically since I got pregnant. I've been trying to keep up and read all your blogs, but I apologize for also being a horrible commenter. I will work on being better.
So far the pregnancy has gone pretty well - I guess? I've been pretty sick - which makes me want to do nothing (hence the lengthy absence). I thought I had it under control. I would only throw up in the early morning or late at night and now only sometimes. But I threw it out of whack Saturday night and was not able to keep much of anything down Sunday. Feeling better today. I've also been tired and constipated and all the other fun things that go along with pregnancy. But I think after waiting so long I have a different perspective on the discomforts. It feels like that is just the way it is to be pregnant so it doesn't bother me too much. I am able to get naps usually which is super helpful. The headaches are the hardest part for me.
But it seems like despite all that the babies are doing well. Yes, I said babies. We are having twins! We are super excited - and very aware that we are only 2 months and still on progesterone supplements. We will be much more comfortable with the viability once I am stable on my own. I came off the estrogen last week and so hopefully my levels are still good. I check them tomorrow.
One thing I love now about infertility: once you finally get pregnant, you get lots of looks and pictures of your babies! I have had 4-5 ultrasounds now and even though they still look like grapes to me, it is so fun to see them and watch their little hearts beating! I think I am going to miss that once I am released from the RE. I did have my first appt with the OB last week and she is sending me to a special high risk ultrasound expert so I should still get extra good pictures.
I am a little nervous about twins. I'm nervous I might have to have a c-section. I'm nervous something will go wrong. But most of the time I am able to stay positive. My uterus is quite sore today which it hasn't been before so that isn't very comforting. I am anxious to make sure everything is all right tomorrow.
I called the OB this morning because of the soreness. She thinks it is because I did a lot of activity this weekend and told to me take it real easy today. I hope that is all. I'll let you know tomorrow.
About this weekend - it was so fun. M and I went to Washington, D.C. where he ran the National Marathon with his 3 brothers. They all were amazing and finished it! I am so proud of them and it was really fun to spend the weekend with M's family. (his parents and all wives - and most kids - were there, too). M and his brothers are a little competitive. Mostly though, they didn't even care - they just wanted to be able to finish. It was a little refreshing. Not all competition was gone, though. The night before (big pasta dinner at Olive Garden) M's eldest brother scoffed at M's statement that he would finish in 4:30 especially since he had done the least training. M (the youngest of the 4) responded with a time of 4:27 (ten minutes ahead of the next brother). He was exhausted and sore but pleased at having finished. I did a ton of walking and standing around to cheer them on at various points of the race and at the finish. After a few hours of warming up, eating and resting we spent all afternoon and night visiting old friends who live in the area. We had a blast. It was fun looking back to compare the visits. It made it clear how different relationships can be. They were all super enjoyable though. It was also interesting to see the reactions to our news. We haven't been telling people outside the families but since we were there in person... They were all super excited and it was actually really easy to talk about having done IVF with them. It was so refreshing. I found out that my friend's mom had done IVF as well. I had no idea. I wish I could tell everyone face to face one at a time. Too bad that won't happen; I live 1600 miles away from most of them. By the time we finally made it back to our hotel it was 1 in the morning. Such a fun night. I really felt the exhaustion yesterday though. Pregnant women need sleep. Especially to fend off nausea. Oh well. It was worth it (as long as the babies are ok and just sore from walking and puking). I don't really care for puking on airplanes though. That wasn't so fun.
Anyway that was a very lengthy catch up post. I'll try to be more consistent and shorter now. Maybe even some pictures...

7w0d "Blah"

I'm back. I had a great trip with M and my family. The biking was fine and some days felt really good. Now that I am home, I have just been crashed out on the couch mostly. I am exhausted and super nauseated. So I don't really feel like blogging very much.
A couple of nights ago, M said something that summarizes how we both feel. We were awake in the middle of the night (partly due to me being sick, partly from jetlag). M said something like, "I feel bad you are so sick - but not really - and I feel bad that I don't really feel bad that you are sick."
Before anybody takes that the wrong way, we both feel that way. I feel horrible, but I am so glad that I am pregnant and I am happy to know that I am still pregnant. Yes, it would be really nice to be one of those women who doesn't have any morning sickness or indigestion, but I am not. So I'm a happy sick pregnant woman (although sometimes I do want to cry because I can't stop heaving - temporarily not happy).
Side-note. I am not currently very happy with the performance by BYU tonight. SDSU has done a great job shutting the cougars down. Still, disappointing. Hopefully they still get to go to the NCAA tournament.